Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Tolstoy and IFS

By |2023-07-18T19:02:59-04:00July 18th, 2023|Health Coaching, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Uncategorized|


Leo Tolstoy opened his blockbuster novel Anna Karenina with this famous statement: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. And went from there to show — in gloriously artful detail — how one family’s story could exemplify that observation.  Seems to me there’s resonance there with the Internal Family Systems model for understanding how any life can unfold into its own story.

~How so?

The internal family of Parts of us…when we are in harmony with each other…and there are no dragons to slay in the immediate or imagined vicinity…well we occupy a human nervous […]

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The Opposite of Trust is Not Distrust

By |2023-06-19T13:23:05-04:00June 16th, 2023|Internal Family Systems (IFS), Uncategorized|

A conversation:

I wish I could trust life, a sad Part lamented.

Tell me more about that, said Self, what does ‘trust life’ mean to you?

It’s like…expecting the good to happen.  For me, it’s the opposite.  I distrust the good, and expect bad stuff.

The opposite of trust is not distrust, observed Self. The opposite of trust is disassociation.

Huh? asked the Part.

Self began.  When you were just brand new, way before you could think about it, the nervous system inside you was making sense of your experience. Sometimes you […]

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We can do soft things, too

By |2023-05-13T06:53:17-04:00May 12th, 2023|Internal Family Systems (IFS)|

Dear Friend,

Because you found resonance with it, I listened to this podcast:

I admire Glennon’s commitment to tread the rough path of recovery from anorexia.  Yes I do. And no doubt this IS an important topic to be exploring together.  Yet Glennon’s manic, insistent tone makes me uncomfortable.  Sounds to me like a survival fight within between Parts.  Subject YES!  Object NO!  I’m trying to understand the wrestling match provoked in me around this topic.  Might life’s motion always consist of the rocking along between subject and object?  Might the nature of the relationship between the two matter more to how […]

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Ego ‘n Me

By |2023-05-10T15:23:54-04:00May 10th, 2023|Internal Family Systems (IFS)|

Ego is what holds my Parts together into a functioning Me.

Parts who are burdened, carrying unhealed wounds and unmet fears, derange Ego into reactions of hostility, fear, greed, anger and blaming.

With my Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist’s help, I connect with the wounded Parts within and help them unburden those hurtful things they carry.

Ego is then affirmed as the happy, healthy-functioning organization of Me.

And I don’t need to give it up til I die.

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

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